Hello Anonymous Public,
I am a middle aged woman who was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder when I was 17. On November 6, 2010, I was clean from all drugs and alcohol for 18 months. Crack was my drug of choice. Here is where I will be sharing with you my innermost thoughts, and experiences. I will be sharing actual true events that have happened in my life, and as they say Life is stranger than fiction(or something like that). I will also be letting you know what I am currently experiencing I will probably be drawing some references and relations for myself but I would like to have you as my clue team. I need people to post comments and feedback concerning what I'm doing and if they see any patterns in what is going on in my life. Other addicts are welcome and if you subscribe to my blog please let me know.Tomorrow, well today actually because I won't be going back to bed, is going to be interesting. My counselor, who comes to my house, I am permanently disabled and home bound as I have no transportation, so I am allowed this convenience, will be coming today. I am glad I have her and she is a relatively new counselor for me so I haven't screwed up too much. Sometimes, without reason I lie to the counselors just because I know what they want to hear or i just feel like messing with them. So far, with her I've been pretty honest. I know I shouldn't lie to them and I try not to but I've been dealing with people trying to figure out my brain for over 20 years at least this one doesn't try to imagine to much, she lets me make my own conclusions. Then I have to make the trip to visit my dad. That's a whole other story. We just started talking again about 5 years ago. Before that I stopped talking to him when I was 17, due to his alcoholism and the way it made him behave. he is still an active alcoholic, but my mother quit speaking to me about 7 years ago and I felt I no longer had any family so being the spoiled brat i rekindled my relationship with my dad so I wouldn't feel alone. I lived about 3 hours away from him and was in an abusive relationship so he paid to get me moved down to his house. He is fairly well-off and there was plenty of room for me although one of my half-brothers who was 11 at the time was also living there. He is from my dads third marriage, he's currently on his fourth. Anyway I digress, It was too close to Detroit for me, and I found crack to readily available close by and became a daily user who lost everything a couple times as I used to be labeled a chronic relapser. Some people are probably still thinking I will fall again but believe me I don't wish for that lifestyle anymore.I always end up homeless and having to start all over. The company of people I keep when I use is horrendous, they're scurvy.More to follow soon.
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