The NA book says relapse is not a requirement. It also says a relapse may be the jarring experience that brings about a more vigorous application of the program. In case you haven't guessed already someone I know pretty well has relapsed. I've been in relationships before where the person who relapsed opened the door for me to follow suit, this is not the case here. I am not in a relationship with this person. I am not even saying if it is a man or a woman.
However, it reminds me how close my disease is to me. If I make one bad choice it may lead me down the road to relapse. I like to think I have enough tools in tool belt (the basic text and other literature, my sponsor, a network of friends who aren't using, my Higher Power, meetings, open talks, sponsee{yes sponsorship is a two way street, sometimes I may need them for help})so that I am more separated than that but it could happen. It happens to people with double digit clean time every day if they are not living the program. The NA book also says we have never seen anyone who lives the NA program relapse on page 79. This causes some confusion because many times I hear people say they are working their program. They have two things wrong. first you need to live the program by applying the steps and spiritual principles in your life, attending meeting, talking to your sponsor and working the steps, doing service work, having and trusting your Higher Power, and giving back what was so freely given to you. The other thing is it's the NA program-not their program. By working their program they are allowed to pick and chose which of the above mentioned duties they do, instead of living them all.
This person has been a chronic relapser and almost had a year clean and made a wrong choice and has to start all over again. I remember starting all over again because I've done it so many times. Then the shame and guilt and embarrassment made me not want to go to a meeting and tell everyone I had screwed up again. However, for the most part people were encouraging to me and told me they were glad I made it back and to turn off the solar powered ass kicking machine. There are always one or two people who are not understanding yet they are the ones who are working their program not living the NA program.
The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop using. So no one can tell you if you are a member or not that's between you and your Higher Power.
And our primary purpose is to help the still suffering addict. People were there for me when when I screwed up and I plan on welcoming this individual back into the fellowship with open arms.Through the program I have learned the meanings of compassion and empathy.
This persons set back reminds me I am still an addict and I am not cured even though I have sponsees and hold together a home group and have a service position as a GSR, and have a sponsor and apply the steps in my life, I am still an addict and I could have to start all over again if I make a bad decision.
I have noticed most of my relapses work in a backwards order first I lose my spiritual well being and then my emotional well being and then the next thing I do is physically pick up. My Higher Power plays a large part in my choice not to pick up today because my Higher Power is always with me and watching me, even when no one else is.
My prayers go out to this person because I know if I could learn to live the NA program this person can learn to live the NA program also.When I see this person at a meeting I will be one of the first people to give them a hug and say welcome back, I'm glad you were able to make it back.
No comments:
Post a Comment